That Unexplainable Feeling

It's that feeling that i can't describe

The one where you feel so much pressure in your heart

that words can't seem to escape from within

The feeling that your suffocating yet you can still breathe

The feeling of helplessness but don't quite know for what

The agony felt inside for no apparent reason

The feeling of wanting to cry it all out

but the tears just wont flow

That feeling that makes your heads spin

thinking of ways to make it stop

The feeling of going on a rampage

and destroying everything in your path

The random feeling that destroys our days

no matter how lovely they have been

It's this unexplainable feeling

that haunts no matter where you go.

Thoughts...

It's on beautiful days like these when my emotions plan an attack on me . Has that ever happened to you? It's when im stuck home when the bombardment starts. Different emotions arise and confuse me. I picture myself back home playing football, going out to walk, or just enjoying a day like this with the ones i love. As i sit here at home alone, the happiness of this beautiful day fades. Clouds and fog is all i see. It's amazing how ironic days like these are for me. But as i think more and more i realize that no matter how many attacks my emotions plan on me i can't let it affect me in any way. This is when all the clouds and fog starts to disappear and i see the beautiful sun shine bright. The new path we've taken is filled with obstacles but if we only find positives for all the negatives, soon these obstacles will fade away.
Psalm 105:4
"Trust the lord and his mighty power."

Finding Out Who You Truly Are.

As little kids we dont really think about this very often. We have fun. But as you grow older everything changes. You start to face obstacles and other situations where you have no idea what to do. Maybe those are the events that make that change in you and you instanly realize the person you really are. And maybe they aren't. Sometimes you just feel like your in a dark hole and can't seem to find your way out. You try many different things but still can't figure out who your are or what you stand for. I am here today. The only thing i have clear in my mind is the love God has for me. My faith in him has only grown stonger. Even though this journey is no where near the end, i can say that slowly i am finding out who i truly am. Sometimes it takes big dramatic changes and stumbling upon little things to get you to think who you really are. Don't rush the process. Because this is what makes the journey worth going through. I will no longer rush this journey and make the most of it.

April 23,2009

Wouldn't it be great to have one day with no worries or anything that gave you thoughts to upset you? That's exactly what i wish. On a day so beautiful as this i wish i wasn't bombarded by all the worries we have in life. But as I look out the window things just start to fade away from my mind and all i can think about is how beautiful it is outside. I get amazed each day by the marvelous things God creates. We shouldn't really worry about anything because everything at the end will find its way, and if it was truly meant to be things will fall right into place just like putting a puzzle together. When you first start you think about it too much, but soon all the pieces start to make sense and start creating that wonderful picture you've been working on for hours. But you see as humans we understand this but seem to choose to worry and panic instead. It's simply human nature. I dream upon that day when all my worries will put lifted off my shoulders and I will breathe that sigh of relief. That day is near, i can feel it.